WARNING: WHINING AHEAD. PROCEED WITH CAUTION
So they left. Christmas is over. New year is over. Holidays are over. My family came to visit me 1 month ago and they returned to the countryside yesterday. That was one hell of a month. I knew that whenever we get together, there's gonna be bickers and quarrels and nags and love. I knew it. And I'm always right. Always.
This time ain't no different really. To sum it up, we all paid in tears for all the quarrels we made. How come? Because we all have differences and in the long period we existed without communication we have forgotten how to co-exist without damnation. We forgot how others were and don't know how they've become.
And thus we don't know how to deal with each others and we hold all the emotions in until the breaking point and here comes the tears. And they were shed on the eve of new year. But that is all in the past. Everything is resolved into love. I hope so.
So they left. But I miss them already. I miss waking up in the morning to the screaming sounds of my sister's kid. I miss all the nags we made, all the quibbles we left out, everything. Somehow I feel tired and empty, restless and angry. There's a silent rage inside my head I can't contain. All the fucked-up-ness inside me is missing the gym already.
When they were here I would wish them gone but now that they're gone I would wish them were near. Funny how the world is turned around and still I'm not happy. I'm afraid of the future. There's so much to be done. I don't know where to start. I want to be uncaring for a while to figure everything out. Just by myself. And a bottle of brandy.
Will you help me?