Jan 14, 2011

Trapped

For the past week I found myself in a dream where everything is submerged in a purple haze. The scenery just comes and goes even though I'm in static. Everytime I move, everything around me stay the same so I have to stay still and watch. It's a frightening feeling. I don't know whether I'm awake or I'm dreaming. I don't know if it's day or night. It all feel like I was in a huge theather with no way out and the only light source is from the movie screen. If I try to leave, the movie is paused and I'm free to wander around in the total darkness searching for a way out just to no avail.

I was not lost however. I was being lead through my own life. I was shown the infinite possibilities that could have been, everything from the moment I was born in painstaking details. Until the day I die. I was shown mistakes I've made and the differences that they cause were they not happen. I was shown all the things that I planned in exuberant happiness just to be abandoned later and how they could have been a part of my life had they come through. I was shown all the possibilities that could have happened in my lifetime.

But that's not my life and the person that was going though all these experiences is not me. He looks like me but he is not me. He didn't make mistakes that I made. He did not experience my failures, he did not experience my embarrassing moments. He was born to the same parents as me, on the same day, the same hour, the same minute and second but he is not me. I am me because of all I've gone through. Good or bad. The moment I realize this I was released. The other person may be happier, may be richer or whatever, he's just a stranger. And he ain't gonna last in my mind.

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Guys, I went down with a feverish cold last week. I was stuck in one place and could not do much except thinking. Above is the result of all that thinking. It feels good now that I've got all that out of my mind. Carpe diem and don't look back! Too much that is. Try not to have too much idle times on hand and take care of yourself. An idle mind is the devil's play ground as they say.

Also, will try to do a painting with the nail polish but my painting skill is horrible. Don't laugh!


16 comments:

  1. painting with nail polish? wow, the smell of all that would knock me out.

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  2. Post the painting when you're done :)

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  3. The fumes from all that nail polish might cause you to actually hallucinate lol be careful :)

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  4. Nail polish? I think that is creative as hell.. yes, post when you are done..
    (thanks for reading my blog. Mind if I tag along here?)

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  5. Nice post :)

    post the painting as soon as you are done :)

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  6. I can't wait to see your next nail polish painting.

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  7. Maybe the purple dreams are caused by the nail-polish fumes.

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  8. I really want to see the painting! Following you now, check out my blog

    http://16bitisnotcool.blogspot.com/

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  9. i have done this before, and it was a fun time

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  10. I want to see what art you come up with! With nail polish!

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  11. There is nothing good nor bad but thinking makes it so. I think that's from Shakespeare. I'm all philosophical now that I'm close to getting back to a semblance of normalcy.

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  12. looking forward to the finished product.

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  13. I feel the same way. Its not good

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  14. nice blog, just subbed to it.

    Make sure to follow mine at thewatchfanatic.blogspot.com

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